So yesterday was a hard day. I barely got any sleep and had no energy. I tried to nap to no avail. I snacked in the middle of the night. And then I snacked some more. Last night was better, I managed to stay in bed for most of the night but yesterday I didn’t work out after all that snacking. NOT good. Oh and I stopped on Wednesday and had an ice cream cone from McDonalds. Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just stick to the plan? Answer: I can.

I can so why don’t I? That is the 64 billion dollar question. The answer is rather deep, and I won’t go into it on here. It digs deep into old hurts and lies and would take too long to explain. Let’s just say I feel incompetent, so I’m afraid of succeeding, so I sabotage myself. I don’t do it on purpose. But now that I am aware of it, I can start fighting it. I know what feelings lead to me eating that ice cream bar, so I know when to start talking myself down. If I ever want to reach my goal, I have to start now. I CAN do it, the question is, will I?

Yes, yes I will. I want to feel fabulous. I want to look like me again. No, I want to look better. I want to feel better.

So time for the plan and what takes place to be similar.

I saw a picture on SP of a person’s current pants on top of their beginner pants. Wow. What a statement. What inspiration. I’m back in my beginner pants. But I have a goal. I’m going to get back in those next size down pants I was in. I’m going to lose 30 pounds and SP says if I lose 2 pounds a week I can lose it by Oct 3rd. So I put weigh in days on my calendar with little red stars (I love red!) and the final weigh in day in bold with lots of stickers… and I’m weighing in every week for my BLC team… I can do this! I will!

I’m putting all these little pieces in place so that I can succeed. So that on Oct 3rd I can say not only did I do it, I killed it and set another goal. Yes 30 pounds is a big goal. I have mini goals of 10 pounds planned along the way, at week 5, 10 and 15, 15 being my final goal day. I need to come up with some prizes for reaching those goals and they don’t need to be too small. Something I’ll really look forward to. Hmm…

Week 5: 248 pounds (-10) prize: New (red) case for phone
Week 10: 238 pounds (-20) prize: Morimoto cookbook
Week 15: 228 pounds (-30) prize: Craft Cart

Whether I meet the goal on the goal date or a few days after/before, I still get the reward, because I will still have earned it.

I have a weight loss buddy! A friend on SP says that one of my posts inspired her to go on a one year adventure too, and she wants to know if I want to be her weight loss buddy, so cool! A friend on one of my teams wanted me to start a post for just my weight loss and my weigh in days and other things on my journey. Double cool! So I started that yesterday and I messaged my new bud this morning. I’m so psyched for this new journey I’m on, all the little pieces seem to be falling into place! So I had a bad day or two, so what, we all have bad days. I’ll rebound and keep going.

I probably won’t meet my first weigh in goal. And you know what? That is okay, I had a rough week, I was finding my footing, but now I’m here and I’m ready to kick butt!

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